Three Year Love Letter

I loved you for three years.
You were my longest love.
You were the person I had consistently loved for three years, wow.
No questions in my head, no doubt in my heart.
You were the one I had planned to love forever.
Somehow, now I will only have loved you for three years.

Are there reasons it ended?
When thinking back….

It was a slow gasp, or whimper you can say, for love.
I wanted your love for longer than three years.
I wanted to be 50 and cheersing beers.

However, losing your love, the one I can’t explain, is why I ended it at three years.

I still had you. My partner, my best friend, my lover, my boyfriend.
Never before you came along did I truly make every decision as if we were one. Situations now not only affected me, they affected us. You were mine and questioned it something I never did.

Let me explain why I knew you were mine forever.
The feeling I had inside told me you loved me as much as I loved you. I had never felt a love come from someone that became so rooted inside me. The true feeling that comes with being loved.
They call it a deep love, because it goes further inside you than you can explain. It wraps around every gut reaction you feel. It tangles through your heart and creates a constant warmth.

You genuinely would do anything for my happiness. Never simply because you were falling in line, but because you enjoyed whatever it was too. You knew you were making me happy. When you can feel how much someone loves you without thinking about it, that is when you know there is something special.

To never question, never worry, only concentrate on returning the love.

Losing that is why we only had three years. No longer were your actions backed by passion. No longer were you happy just to see me smile. I still never questioned weather you would leave. I questioned why you stayed.

It hurt when you stopped staring at me. It hurt when simple eye contact stopped making you smile. It was devastating when the deep love inside, I could never explain, could not be felt any longer.
Never had I felt that feeling before, and then it was gone once again.
A feeling I will never be able to describe. It was true love, you were my best friend.

I never wanted to leave, but I had nothing left to lose.

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Alone

So here we are again alone in my bed.
My thoughts and I spooning the rambles running around in my head.
When leaving someone you love there is that moment it syncs in.
When the dust settles and you are lying alone in y’alls bed.
Alone with no one to hold you.
Alone with no one to say your random thoughts to.
Alone to warm yourself up.
Alone to cry yourself to sleep.
The night seems longer.
The sleep seems shorter.
The dreams seem sadder.
The bed feels bigger.
Still sleeping on your side.
Leaving a gaping space next to you.
Reminding you of whats no longer left of you two.
Before this night you stayed on the move.
Blinding your mind with constant interactions.
There comes that night when no one can be there for you.
There comes that night when you cry yourself to sleep for the first time.
There comes that night when you realize your all alone.